The ME Trap

“Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain. And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”’ - A Rich Farmer

         “Why should you have to sweat the small stuff?”

     “Why should you get bogged down in someone else’s antiquated notions of morality?”

       “Times have changed.”

       “You've come a long way baby.”

       “You've got to get out of there and forge your own destiny!”

       “Make it happen!”

       “Fulfill yourself!”

       “Pull your own strings!”

       “Do it your way!”

     Have you heard those phrases before? No doubt you have. They come with some sort of fuel to spur you to greatness right? Now let’s consider some other phrases.

       “You shouldn't be hungry, tell this stone to become bread.”

       “All the kingdoms of the world will be yours if you worship me.”

       “Throw yourself from this cliff and the angels will save you.”

      “Do you want to remain in the trappings of your knowledge? Eat this and you will be like God.”

         Similar voice?

       It is very easy for us to get trapped in the “Me syndrome”. Here, me, myself and I are the most important people on the earth. Things are only as important as they help me get to my own desired destination. Family is expendable, Divorce isn't unthinkable, commitment in relationships is optional, yea isn't yea and nay isn't nay unless it helps me attain my goals.

    This is what our system teaches but this attitude will certainly lead to our downfall. Instead, think cooperation. It is in cooperating with others that ability is multiplied geometrically.

     Seek win-win at all times. Nobody needs to be the loser for you to win. We sure have the desire to feel like winners when others have failed but this injures more than it fulfills  Quit the competition. It is possible for your counterpart to win together with you at all times.

     Finally remember what Paul (the apostle) said: “I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency”.

How to Overcome the Fear Factor

Then he asked them, Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith? - Jesus (The Christ)

     I often ask people what their ambitions are. "What do you want to become?" I ask. Nine out of ten times I get answers like, "Economist," or "Banker," or "Lawyer," or the popular one – "Doctor". In all of these cases I push and ask, "What would you like to become if you knew you would absolutely succeed?" In other words I ask what ambition the person would have if he cannot fail? Seven out of ten times I get answers like, "Fashion designer," or "Singer," or "musician," or the surprising of all – "Dancer," from the same folks that chose the earlier "respectable" ones. 

    What this reveals to me is that the real reason the person mentioned the initial ambition was not necessarily because he desired to achieve it but because he was instructed by fear! It was fear – the fear of not making enough money to make ends meet – that led to the first choice.

Daily, folks are moved by fear into decisions. Fear of failure, of heights, of lack, of …death, push us into making decisions that sometimes define the whole of our lives and that of loved ones. What fears are pushing you?

     Fear cripples. I once chased a dear lizard to a wall and though walls are no limitations to lizards, this one repeatedly tried and failed to climb over. It could not climb because it was crippled by fear. What fears are crippling you?

   Fear lies. It never tells you what you can be. Rather, it sings to you stories of what you are not. Soon you begin to tell yourself those stories. Choose who you listen to.

   Some things we are afraid of do not exist! They feel like they do, look like they do, even smell like they do but the moment you approach them they fizzle away. I came across these timeless words: "Fear knocked on my door, faith answered and there was no one there."

   You will not succeed as you should if you remain as afraid as you are. You must dare! You must take the offensive! You must be bold – bold as a lion!

  Courage has never been the absence of fear. It is taking action irrespective of internal fears. Develop courage. All courageous people are fearful people that are taking actions nonetheless.

Give Your Past a Decent Burial

Give me a possession of a burying place with you, 

so that I may bury my dead out of my sight. - Abraham

Yesterday is gone! - That is a truth so hard for people to grasp. Somehow, we feel that we can in one way or the other change the things that have happened to us. You see, nothing can be done about the last breath you took- in-out- and it is gone. You cannot decide to unbreathe it but you can choose not to take the next breath. The past does not belong to us. “…Everything belongs to you whether it is… the world, life or death, present or future things, everything belongs to you” (Paul, the apostle). Did you notice that the past isn't part of the “everything”?

   Carrying the burdens of the past does not only mean carrying the negative things of the past. Many positives of our past are real burdens. Past successes can hold you back. I often slap myself to awareness by asking, “What have you done today worth a smile?”

   Happenings such as births, deaths, sicknesses, accidents, and so on could define our today in ways we would love to prevent. When such things happen, we feel helpless to them. What then do we do with the past? How do we put them behind us and move on?

   We move on by doing exactly what Abraham did, he buried his dead!

Are there physical links between you and the burdens of your past? Are there pictures or letters you have kept? These physical links to your past are the bridges that have kept you connected to your past. Burn the bridges, bury your dead, and disconnect yourself from all things in your past that have restricted you.

     Set your focus on your present and future and not on your past. God wired your brain to think about only one thing at a time so instead of hovering around the past happenings of your life, make a habit of thinking about the present and the great prospects of your future. “Do not cling to events of the past or dwell on what happened long ago. Watch for the new thing I am going to do. It is happening already- you can see it now! I will make a road through the wilderness and give you streams of water there” (Isaiah).        Yesterday can hold us back, today is ours to enjoy, and tomorrow gives us hope to live on.

All BIG things start small

Our vineyards are in blossom; we must catch the little foxes that destroy the vineyards. Songs of Solomon 2:15 

    The names Bill Gates, Aliko Dangote, Barack Obama, Tiger Woods, and many others represent people that are perceived as being at the peak of their fields. They are the “BIG boys” in what they do. The media hype, the splendor and pomp that accompany the status leaves many young folks with an unsatisfied crave to be “BIG!”

       There is nothing wrong with being BIG. I reckon that it is natural to desire growth. When I was a child I craved adulthood at every moment. I wanted to eat whatever I wanted when I wanted, sleep when I felt like, talk to whomever I desired, and much more. In effect, I wanted to be all I felt I should be.

     As time went by, I grew to observe that NO-thing I did made me BIG. I didn't become BIG by thinking I was, I didn't become BIG by acting as though I were, I didn't become BIG even when I said I was!

      Gradually, I forgot about being BIG and now I am!

      Thinking back, I cannot recall any day that I actually saw myself grow. I now know that I had nothing to do with the growth process – nature simply took its course.

     As it was with my growth, and undoubtedly yours also, so it is with attaining that BIG boy status in your mind.

    Many young people make the various mistakes there are to make in trying to become BIG when all they needed to do was allow nature take its course.

 ...a person who wants to get quick riches will get into trouble. Proverbs 28:20.

     This is the course of nature: All BIG things start small.

     This also mean BIG businesses, BIG nations, BIG sportsmen and women, BIG singers and musicians – they all start small and grow big.

     Nothing is born BIG!

    This is an open secret of success. Do not let the splendor trap your heart. Do not let the over-bloated tales of the media ensnare you. Choose a worthy path for your life, enjoy beginning small in that path, work at growing daily, give both it and you time, and you SHALL grow BIG. Nature takes its course on all things… and that includes you!

180-DEGREES TURN TO YOUR SHOKOTO (Concluded)

         All you are looking for in Sokoto is in YOUR shokoto (trouser pockets) - Yoruba Proverb

“Much food is in the tillage of the poor…”, (Proverbs 13:23). Did you see it? Every time I read those words I grow goose bumps. The proverb says the poor man has all he needs in his land!

     Are you asking the question on my mind? Why in heavens name is he then poor?

Well for one he was obviously too familiar with his field. Familiarity they say breeds contempt. And so he looks at his field and says: “What is my talent compared to great talented people?” Or he says: “This thing I have is too small to make any difference”. Or he scoffs and says: “This thing? No it can’t be any better.”

     On the other hand, he may just be a lazy boy and say: “Nobody succeeds in this type of business, there is no need trying.” Or, “I am a Christian; God will do it for me.”

     Our poor man may just be someone who lacks discretion; he is unable to make responsible decisions. It was the fault of his wife that he didn't go to the field in the last week.

Finally, but not conclusively, he may just lack the necessary skills to manage the deep needs of his husbandry. He took the leap of faith and went to farm even when there were no rains, but does not have a clue what to do next.

     It really does not matter which among the above ails our poor man or if he is plagued by a combination of all of them what really matters is rather than run away from his field, he takes a 180° turn to the opposite direction, and plough. This he must do if he will not have the same destiny as Ali Hafed.

     You must recognize that YOUR field has diamonds! You must discern how to mine it. You must be diligent to plough your field. You must be discreet and learn how to manage the intricacies your own vocational-husbandry. Then, and then alone will you ensure you are not the poor man we just spoke about.