Sit and Watch Your Life Reel Through!

I love sports. My interest in sports pushed me to know the rules of many sport events that I would never participate in or probably never witness others playing. In particular, like 75% of the 170 million people in my country, I love football. I so love football that I used to sit long periods at a time discussing the players’ rumors, the possible transfer headlines, the problem with referees and lots more. Sometimes our discussion leads us on journeys back in the days and we vividly describe events that happened then.

Recently in one of such discussions we traveled back in time to the world cup event of 1994 – US ’94 it was popularly called – and discussed the many euphoric moments. Our country was represented for the first time on the biggest football stage on the planet. We went there as African champions and I vividly remember thinking – rather erroneously with hindsight - that we would be certainly unstoppable after gloriously conquering Africa just some months earlier.

Suddenly it dawned on me that this sports event I was vividly describing was twenty years ago! Where had all the time gone? Twenty years! If this was US ’94 then I am twenty years in the future. The obvious question that arose was, “Was this the future I envisioned?” I refused to answer not because I didn’t know the right answer but because I didn’t want to hear it.

Our lives do not come to us all at once. I remember my father describing fifty-year-old events “as though it were just yesterday.” Our lives come in years, and years in months, and months in weeks, and weeks in days, and days in hours, and hours in minutes and seconds. It stands to reason that what you do with the seconds – the very second you are living through right now – determines what will be the outcome of the results you will produce in the minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, and ultimately in your life.

If the next twenty years – 2034 – would bring better outcomes I must ask myself the difficult question, “What am I doing with this second?” It is the same with you and your friends and your family. We have all the power to choose what we do with this second but we have no power whatsoever to determine the outcomes we would experience in the next twenty years.

Choose wisely.

Transition Person I: Don't Continue the Rusted Chain

No matter what has happened, is happening, or will happen, there is a space between those things and our responses to them. ­– Stephen R. Covey

 It is easy – much easier – to react to things rather than respond to them. We are taught in physics that action and reaction are equal and opposite and so we internalize that and give back what has been given to us.

In the same way it is easier to continue the chain of what we see around us rather than break it. In our desire not to be the weak link we become blinded to the fact that the chain we are protecting is rusted. A rusted chain is the family in which mummy got pregnant out of wedlock, first daughter, second daughter and third daughter let's it "happen" to them. It is a business in which boss is verbally abusive, manager verbally abusive, supervisors verbally abusive. It is the home in which father beats mummy, sons beat girlfriends.

We all have had (or still have) our share of rusted chains. The easy thing to do is ensure the rusted chain doesn’t break with you. For example, my Dad gave himself to alcohol for much of his young life and I found myself with an alcohol bottle every evening in my early youth. Not only that, I initiated my younger brother! I had to get to the point where I spoke sense to myself to not continue the habit I so hated in lovely daddy.

It is only when you decide not to continue the rusted chain that you become a transition person. A transition person, in the words of Stephen R. Covey, is “one who stops unworthy tendencies from being passed on from prior generations to those that follow.”

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          The transition person is a chain breaker. He doesn’t sit back and allow life happen to him but makes life happen. He doesn’t react to stimulus, he responds to it. He recognizes that he has the power to determine how his life turns out and decides daily to take only the steps that ensure the rusted chain breaks.

Transition persons are priceless to the future. They are the hope we have for a better tomorrow. They are the reasons we will not have better yesterdays. They set a different example for the next generation to emulate. Do you want to be a transition person? Sure you do! Follow my next article as it shows how to be one.

And There was a Leader

Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality. ­– Warren Bennis

In every society the people seen as the source of “all” the problems are the leaders. Be it in Greece, Iran, Turkey, or Nigeria, the leaders are the ones to take the first blows of every economic downturn, political turmoil, insecurity, and sometimes even natural disasters. This is so not because the people rallying on the streets consider leaders as some super humans with a magic wand but because leaders are expected to be ahead of the people in every aspect of life. Indeed, nothing moves in a society without leaders.

Leadership begins with vision. A visionless leader will not lead his followers any better than a guy on an evening stroll with his dog. Vision is of utmost importance because people only go as far as their leadership can see. “For want of vision countries perish,” a proverb teaches. Every progressive society has leaders with progressive visions and every unprogressive one has the opposite. The rate of progress is always commensurate with the vision of leadership.

Interestingly, leaders are scarcely aliens to any society. The quality of leaders produced in any society reflects the quality of the people in the society because leaders are always a sample of the people. It was Mike Murdock that once said, “Every country deserves its leaders.” Since I come from a country that has suffered decades of tremendously poor leadership, I initially felt his statement was overtly without empathy for people like me. As I grew to understand that leadership is a nations mirror I thought otherwise.

        You can be a leader. It does not matter where you are or what you do. In fact, your level on the stairway of your company’s organogram is of little significance. All these do not matter because leadership has nothing to do with your portfolio. You don’t need an office to be a leader. If you build yourself on the five pillars of leadership; Vision, Positive Influence, Personal Growth, Taking Initiative, Learning to Follow, you can be sure that you are indeed a leader already. [For more on the pillars of leadership click here] 

Tend to Your Leak!

I wasted time, and now doth time waste me. ­– William Shakespeare

 Have you seen a leaking water tank? I recently bought a two-thousand-liter overhead tank and filled it with water I needed for a project. With this I was sure I would have little need for water for a long time. Unknown to me it had a small crack right beneath it and the water seeped out little by little. A few days before the project was to begin the tank was dry. Two thousand liters gone!

As the leakage was to my tank so is wastage to your success journey. Silently, gradually, little by little, your potential for success dries up. A period allowed to slip away may be time leaking out. You know what you need to do, you know why you should do it and you know how to do it but you still do not get to do it. You say to yourself: I will do it later. I am not up to it now.

Unplanned spending may be money leaking out. You have a project at hand but one night out and a couple extra sticks of Suya won’t kill the project – or so think. So the tiny amount of money leaks out and you are not closer to reaching the funds needed for your project.

Taking people for granted may be network leaking out. You meet someone for the first time but feel why bother I will meet him again, failing to consider that first impressions come once and that every meeting is an important opportunity to strengthen your people ties and enhance your networking.

In every area of your success journey leakages are possible. Smart achievers tend to these leakages and minimize them to the barest minimum. They ensure that their relationships don’t leak, their expenditure is within planned control, and, probably most important of all, their time isn’t wasted on frivolous things.

Knowing Where You Are Headed

We are all in journeys. It does not matter if you know it or not, or whether you accept it or not. What matters is that you are headed somewhere. The question then is, "Where are you headed?" 

Not many folks, though I reckon it simple, can answer that question. I say it is simple to answer because all you really need to check is your actions. The decisions you make and the things you do are a precise prophecy of where you are headed. The student that invests his or her most productive hours gaming rather than studying is prophesying failure already.

Nonetheless, it is not ideal to identify your destination only from your actions. I advice that you define your destination even before you turn-on the ignition. 

In normal circumstances, before anyone sets out on any journey they have an idea of where they are headed. As it is with journeys so should it be with our success. What exactly are you trying to achieve? Where exactly do you want to get to? Would you recognise it when you arrive there? Clearly define what your dream is. Many have vague dreams. You do not get anywhere with vagueness and ambiguity. You must be able to state categorically what you desire to achieve.

Set dream-fulfilling goals. Set goals that take you steps closer to living your dreams. Ensure that every goal you set and pursue is important to the final destination.

Take a step daily. Make sure you do something daily that takes you closer to your dream. It does not matter the size of what you do. What matters is that you do it. Because of my dream to be a best selling author, I post an article I my blog daily. It is very difficult for me and seems small compared to my dream but it is a step toward it.

No matter the storms and difficulties that come your way, never, never, never give up!

Creativity NOW!

           Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions. - Albert Einstein 

 Generate curiosity: the first thing needed is curiosity. Curiosity stems from creativity. Curiosity and creativity are linked by a two-way arrow. The process for developing either can go in both directions. You can use your curiosity, which is actually easier to form, to develop creativity. This can most easily be done by asking probing questions. If used appropriately Questions open up things that ordinarily will remain closed. Some questioning tips are:

Tip no. 1: Ask yourself about changes. E.g. What would taste better if it were less sweet? How can I make it sweeter? Tip no. 2: Ask yourself questions with lots of answers. E.g. What are some of the uses of air?

             Think deep: Creativity never occurs in the shallow regions of the mind but rather in its deep recesses. Treasure is never found floating on the surface of ocean waters but rather deep down at the bottom of it where only the resilient get to.

              Form a picture of what you want: You must see it in your mind’s eye. Anything can be seen in the mind. Very few people know that. You see, you have two pairs of eyes. The first is the outward eye, which is visible to everyone. Your outward eye sees only the things that are in the physical environment. The inner pair sees beyond. It sees what cannot be seen from the physical environment. Both pairs work together in feeding your mind with information. The outer eyes feed your mind with information that has defined boundaries. However, this is not so with the inner pair. The inner pair feeds your mind with boundless information. With your inner eyes, sight has no boundaries unless the ones you map out for it. You can create the picture of anything you desire to see or have physically.

               Do not let your environment restrict you: have a mindset that what you see is never what you get. Anything can become anything. A boulder can be a statue, a black stone can be coal, a tree can be paper, that problem you are looking at can be a business. Do not despise all seemingly worthless things. They are the parents of all worthwhile things.

Learning to Focus

Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus. - Alexander Graham Bell

The Sun: The Sun is the most prominent feature in our solar system and nature’s energy warehouse. It contains approximately 98% of the total solar system mass. Its disk can conveniently accommodate one hundred and nine Earths. Its interior can hold over 1.3 million Earths. The Sun's outer visible layer is called the photosphere and has a temperature of 6,000°C. This layer has a mottled appearance due to the turbulent eruptions of energy at the surface.

It is oddly funny that with all these known about the sun, humans, infinitesimal creatures in comparison to it, enjoy bare-chested tanning under the sun’s intensity daily.

The Laser: The laser is used for surgeries, joining of objects and in some intensity can cut through steel. At best, the laser emits energy so small, it would not stand anywhere close to the sun.

One thing makes the laser able to cut through steel while the sun is used for tanning - FOCUS. The principle behind the laser is simple. All its rays are focused on one spot while the sun disperses its rays to a zillion different directions.

Focus is a major virtue of all high-achievers. Simply put, it is the ability to stay on one thing at a time until it is completed.

Focused living is the crux of successful living. We need to be focused in every aspect of our lives. Anyone that does everything at the same time actually does nothing. Want to be focused?

Know your areas of interest: There are many things you could do but I am pretty sure there are only a few you will be interested in at any given time. Discover your areas of interest and focus on them.

Prioritize: On a piece of paper, write down all the things you need to accomplish. Attach numbers to them in accordance to their relevance. Pick the most relevant and work on it immediately. Work your way down the list.

Don’t leave anything unfinished: Each item selected on your list should be completed before you move on. Never leave a work unfinished. Unfinished work is no better than untouched work. If a task can be finished once, make sure you don’t do it twice. 

Was it Meant to Happen?

Some things are meant to happen - it just

takes us a couple of tries to get there. - J. R. Ward (Author)

“Seeing we have not gone far, let’s call-in the motor park for a replacement,” I suggested to other passengers after our taxi slated for a three-hour journey broke down after nine minutes.

“There is no need we do that,” they unanimously responded. “It is just a minor fault, and who knows, it was probably meant to happen”. I could have disputed their theory but I felt there was no need so I stayed silent.

One hour down we started out again.

Two hours into our journey, in the very middle of ‘no-man’s-land’, the car made a sharp sound and stopped. This time it obviously was a more serious problem for the car made no sign at all of starting. “I told you all!” my heart kept screaming with my mouth shut. I wondered if the passengers would have said it was a minor fault that was “meant to happen” if we were aboard a plane and not a car. I did not blame them much though - they live by fate.

It is a futile thing to rely on fate. Many people make clumsy decisions, take the actions accompanying those decisions and when the result of their poor decision-making and actions come out, they attest it to fate. How can a driver who decided not to put on a seat belt while driving say after an accident, “I was meant to hit my chest on the steering wheel and develop a complication”? It is absurd! However, many who rely on fate are doing just that.

People run to fate because it gives them a loophole to be irresponsible. They cannot be held responsible for whatever happened or is happening because the buck doesn't stop with them. “It was destined” or a better one is “God made it happen”. Have you heard such clichés before?

Take the driver's seat of your life - we are called to live by faith and not by fate! None who depends on fate has faith. Nothing just happens because “it was meant to happen”. God set nature to respond in a way that a prior happening causes everything that happens - a cause and then an effect. As long as we ignore faith and hang instead on fate, life will give to us whatever it chooses. If we instead take up the responsibility of the things that happen in our lives, we can then begin to change for the better whatever we do not like in our lives.

Can You Hear Your Life Ticking?

                       …but time and chance happens to them all. – Proverbs

Twenty-four hours make one day – no more no less. We all have an equal share of the most important intangible resource in life, time. It is popularly said the time is money. Loosely speaking that is very true in the sense that there can be no transactions without time. Time creates the environment for all human plans and endeavors.

With time some build homes and relationships whilst others destroy them. With time some grow great business whilst others while it away with unproductive company. With it some pursue dreams, visions and vocations whilst others have no clue what next step to take in their lives.

Nonetheless, one thing remains constant – we all have an equal share of it – 24 hours!

So how do we become productive at all times?

Decide exactly what you are out to achieve, many folks cannot answer this; What do you want to be remembered for? Determine this and set out developing it.

Commit to focus. Focused-living is at the very crux of productivity and success. you will rarely be successful without focusing on the most important aspects of your vision. to focus means to put your attention and energy toward achieving one thing at a time.
Take advantage of every moment. Redeem the time, it is said. every second of your day is a whole part of your day. Do not waste it. Make sure your working, playing, working, resting, working, partying, all work to push you toward your vision.

Tears for Wisdom

                       Wisdom cries out, she utters her voice on the streets… - Proverbs

    Some of us are familiar with the story of young Solomon, the king, who had a blank check to ask for whatever he desired from God and he chose to ask for wisdom to rule. He asked for this against the backdrop of all the other pleasant things he could have asked for the many other kings could have unselfishly asked for. This was the beginning of his being referred to as the wisest man to have walked the face of the earth.

      I would consider three spheres to developing wisdom.

     To be wise you would need to know yourself. It is interesting to note but a lot of people do not actually know themselves. They do not what they can do and what they can’t, do not know their likes and dislikes, do not know their talents and where they lack. This poor knowledge will certainly deter development of accompanying wisdom.

     Socrates, the great Greek philosopher once said, “The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” When you start thinking that way you will begin to see reasons why you need more and more knowledge. Knowledge brings wisdom. Not all knowledgeable folks are wise but there is no empty-head wise person. Fran Lebowitz (American author) said, “Think before you speak. Read before you think.”

       Finally with experience comes responsibility for more wisdom. The things that have happened to you in the past, the people you have met, the relationships you have had, all these should not be taken for granted but rather should be referred to as a wellspring of experience never look down on. Draw in from your experiences for the wisdom you need at any moment.

What it is All About.

“Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.”  - Albert Einstein

One of my students recently interrupted me while teaching and asked a question. He said: “Why do we do all this? Why do we wake up in the morning, get all set and leave our homes? Why?” With his question came sixty watchful eyes and attentive ears. They seemed more interested in the answer to this question than to any other thing I had taught in the last hour or so.

Lucky for me, I did not need to think too far to get what I hoped will be an appropriate response. This was because I had thought about this same question several times from my early secondary school days. I remember observing the early morning hustle and bustle of people and old vehicles in Kaduna and wonder why people needed to go through all these daily.

Why not simply sit at home and rest your life out?

The easy answer that presents itself is we do it for the money but I say no! I am not about to tell you that money does not play a part, after all it is popularly said, and believed by many, that money makes the world go round. But as writer, John Stainbeck states, “Anything that just costs money is cheap”.  My life should not revolve round only money and neither should yours.

We get up in the morning, take our baths and leave our lovely homes so that we can add value to the society. Without value everything is worthless. Indeed you must think in the direction of value for anything you do be worth your effort.

You are a nurse so that you can add value to the profession and society’s well-being. You are a policeman or woman to protect the lives of people, thereby adding value to the profession. You are part of clergy so that you can build people morally and spiritually, this adds value to the vocation and society.

It is always a sad thing meeting professionals that care little about the value they add daily to the society through their jobs. They would rather pray change comes by some divine impact than add their part of value, little as it may be, to the society through their fields. I dare say your little part of value is more important than your prayer. If you go the extra mile and combine the two you will have an explosive combination!

Lead NOW!

A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled,they will say: We did it ourselves. - Lao Tsu

   
         You have all it takes to lead in our highly competitive world.

     People and performance are more often than not defined by the word, “Best”. All through our lives we have been pushed to outperform our peers and be better than they. This indeed has helped us to develop, improving from one state to the other, but it has also led to the under-utilization of personal potential. We may become the best in our class but never the best we can be.

     Nevertheless, to lead does not necessarily amount to being first. Indeed, to lead means many other things rather than what we have believed it to be for so long.

     To lead means to have vision. All visionary people are leaders irrespective of their position in the hierarchy. This also means that not every one occupying a position is a leader because it is possible to have a portfolio and lack vision.

     To lead means to influence. Many people have titles without influence. I have seen many instances where the person people truly follow is sandwiched somewhere in the hierarchy. Such a person is the leader without being the boss.

     To lead means to grow. Everyday progress is made in every field. The prevalent information in all fields is overturned with fresher ideas and concepts every few months. To lead in your field will require you grow with the progress made in your field. The person with the fresher information and concepts automatically leads the flock, and he or she does not need to be the boss to achieve this.

     To lead means to take initiative. Most people, including those in highly placed positions, do not take required actions unless prompted by someone higher up the stack. Such a person is not a leader. To lead you must learn to take initiative and act!

     To lead means to follow. If you must lead then you must learn to follow because it is in follower-ship that you find your leadership path. Benjamin Disraeli said: "I must follow the people. Am I not their leader?" Many would-have-been leaders failed here! They assumed since they should be leaders then they do not need to follow anyone. They were probably never taught that the way up is down.

     So, you can lead! Do not wait for an office or portfolio. Have vision, influence positively, grow, take initiative, and follow. This way you are a leader already.