Mentor Matters

Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn. ­– Benjamin Franklin

 The first step for every aspect of human learning is imitation. A child imitates how her parents walk, talk, laugh, play, and even fight. If there are insults flying around at home you can be sure that the child will adopt them as fast as she can. If you want to make quick progress in any field, learn to imitate.

Now, many proclaim themselves leaders in various fields but have never been mentored by someone that has gone before them. The day Novak Djokovic lost his place as tennis world number one to Rafael Nadal, he gave Boris Becker, one-time youngest ever player to win the Wimbledon Open, a call to become his trainer. He did this because he knew that to regain his top rank in world tennis he needed someone who has been there and done that.

Mentorship is a pattern for would-be champions. A mentor should be someone who would not only show you the what but also the how to achieve what you desire to achieve. In effect, that means that he or she must be a person who has done what you are trying to do in detail. Age, gender, ethnicity, and the like, may not matter when choosing a mentor. What matters is whether or not the mentor knows his or her "onions" in that area.

In choosing a mentor, there are three things that should not be ignored. The first is prior record of the possible mentor. What has the person achieved in the field? How much learning has he in it? There are times when you learn from people that have failed in the area you want to succeed in but that does not amount to mentorship. For an effective mentor-protégé relationship, you need someone who has actually succeeded in it. At the least your mentor must be someone who may have failed in an aspect of the area but have overcome his failure enough to allow for proper mentorship.

I addition, you must understand and accept your would-be mentor’s value system. You must be bold to get answers to questions like; what does she believe? What makes him compromise? Does she understand the full purpose of why she is alive? This is important. A mentor-protégé relationship does not only transfer actions and principles but the very life of the mentor gets into the protégé.

Finally, your would-be mentor must be willing to teach. You cannot learn effectively from a secretive teacher. Your mentor must be willing to show you all that you need to learn for you to succeed.

The Mindset of a Great Leader

It’s hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. ­– Adlai E. Stevenson (Two-time US presidential aspirant)

Leadership does not begin with an office. It has been said a million times over that you can lead from the middle of the pack. Inclusively, even the pillars of leadership; vision, integrity, taking initiative, and the like, are not sufficient to put you on the right leadership pedestal. This is so because leadership also does not begin with a mechanical adherence to principles. I am certain that you have seen “leaders” that do all the right things but can at best be referred to as poor leaders. You see, he is not a leader that does not think he is a leader. So, in essence, leadership begins with an attitude of the mind.

To develop the mindset of leadership you must first have a healthy self-esteem. Your self-esteem is your estimation of yourself – the worth you place of yourself. In itself it remains in neutral but you make it positive or negative. A healthy self-esteem brings with it confidence in your ability, courage to face daunting situations, a listening ear to every person involved in the task and a proactive rather than reactive attitude toward criticisms. An unhealthy self-esteem shows itself in an attitude of despair, worry, fear, and the like. A leader with a healthy self-esteem will emanate all the positives, while the opposite will be the case for a leader with an unhealthy self-esteem.

In addition to the attitude tool-kit of a leader, there must be an openness and boldness to permit creativity and innovation in everyday activities. Many leaders cannot face change, especially when it is initiated by someone other than themselves. You must be able to entertain creative and innovative suggestions. This may mean that you admit your own suggestions are not as innovative as the new ones suggested.

Finally, a leader must have a mindset that understands that authority in itself is a burden. This means that you must first be able to submit to authority for you to understand how and why people should submit to your authority. If folks would submit to your authority you must have a mindset that tells you it isn’t an opportunity to exploit but a responsibility to serve because a great leader, at the end of the day, is simply a great servant.

And There was a Leader

Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality. ­– Warren Bennis

In every society the people seen as the source of “all” the problems are the leaders. Be it in Greece, Iran, Turkey, or Nigeria, the leaders are the ones to take the first blows of every economic downturn, political turmoil, insecurity, and sometimes even natural disasters. This is so not because the people rallying on the streets consider leaders as some super humans with a magic wand but because leaders are expected to be ahead of the people in every aspect of life. Indeed, nothing moves in a society without leaders.

Leadership begins with vision. A visionless leader will not lead his followers any better than a guy on an evening stroll with his dog. Vision is of utmost importance because people only go as far as their leadership can see. “For want of vision countries perish,” a proverb teaches. Every progressive society has leaders with progressive visions and every unprogressive one has the opposite. The rate of progress is always commensurate with the vision of leadership.

Interestingly, leaders are scarcely aliens to any society. The quality of leaders produced in any society reflects the quality of the people in the society because leaders are always a sample of the people. It was Mike Murdock that once said, “Every country deserves its leaders.” Since I come from a country that has suffered decades of tremendously poor leadership, I initially felt his statement was overtly without empathy for people like me. As I grew to understand that leadership is a nations mirror I thought otherwise.

        You can be a leader. It does not matter where you are or what you do. In fact, your level on the stairway of your company’s organogram is of little significance. All these do not matter because leadership has nothing to do with your portfolio. You don’t need an office to be a leader. If you build yourself on the five pillars of leadership; Vision, Positive Influence, Personal Growth, Taking Initiative, Learning to Follow, you can be sure that you are indeed a leader already. [For more on the pillars of leadership click here] 

The Karoshi Effect

By the seventh day God had finished his work and so he rested. ­– Genesis 2:2

The Japanese term, Karoshi, means, “Death by overwork.” It is used to press upon the mind the literal effect of overwork. The Japanese even made a computer game with the same theme in which the goal is to so overwork yourself in every level until it leads to your death. It is a suicide game but you only die by work overload.

When considering this rather bizarre gaming concept I cannot help but see how closely related it is to many lives in our societies. In a bid to work hard, or increase in productivity, folks literally work themselves to death. In an article I wrote on the work rat-race many-a-folk are in, I spoke of a cycle of death that they cannot get themselves out of. This is so because they want to satisfy the basest of human needs – survival. [To read more on this article, click here].

Work should give you more life and vigor and not kill you. Every work should have a beginning and an end. When you get to the end, rest! Overwork has numerous negatives, the most obvious and immediate being stress and burnout. Stress on its own is a normal reaction to any physical or psychological demand, but prolonged and repeated exposure to stress can lead to burn-out, which brings with it a myriad of diseases.

In addition, overwork disrupts normal body processes. For example, it is normal for any human body to produce insulin, which breaks sugar. Sleep deprivation from overwork disrupts the body’s natural ability to produce insulin, thereby leaving a possibility of Diabetes.

To control your work schedule and not overwork, you should work smarter. This means you focus on the work at hand and ensure that all distractions, like social phone calls and social media platforms, are off limits. This way you will do more in a shorter period and hence have time to rest. You should also take breaks intermittently rather than work on a stretch. You should get sufficient sleep every night. Do not underestimate the positive effect a good night rest can have to your success. Finally, set work boundaries and rest boundaries. This means that you place a limit as to what you do during your work period and also during your rest time.

When Dreams Turn to Nightmares

Even when walking through the dark valley of death I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me, guarding, guiding all the way. ­– The Psalmist

I had a dream some nights ago that began on a sweet plane. I enjoyed every twist and turn of that dream and did not want to wake up. I wanted to see the end of it. Suddenly – as it so often happens in dreams – my sweet dream turned to a nightmare. I found myself running helplessly from something that scared me so much. I immediately wanted a way out of this dream.

As it happened to my sweet dream, so it often happens to our visions and goals. Teenage Joseph dreamed of glory but found himself in a dry well abandoned for dead. Just when he thought he was to be saved from his ordeal he was sold into slavery and subsequently went into jail, all for crimes he did not commit. His dream turned into a nightmare so much so that he forgot the initial dream. Similarly young and vibrant Moses wanted to live his dream and took steps in line with it. He soon discovered that his dream would turn into a forty-year nightmare in the odd part of a desert.

When your dream turns to a nightmare you will be tempted again and again to abandon ship. It will occur to you that you do not need to carry out the work after all. The following may become friendly phrases to you: “I have done my best,” “There is no way out of this,” “Oh, God, Please send somebody else!” “O my Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me …”

        Now, let’s be frank, the world will not end if you give up. So to be honest giving up is an option – but not your only option. If you consider that your goals cannot be achieved only by your own abilities you will realize that all you may need to do is keep walking on. It does not matter how fast you are going at such times. What matters is that you stay true to the journey. Your success journey is a long journey and if you stick to it you will slowly but surely walk through the valley of the shadow of death and emerge victorious.