The Question of Purpose

He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how. - Friedrich Nietzsche

For every worthy venture there come questions that challenge its efficacy. These questions come through various means. They primarily will flood your mind, debating every decision and plan you have. They will also come through people – loved ones and the like – would challenge every phase of every venture. Finally through the project itself – debates of whether you are achieving as you planned. These questions are of several forms and getting an answer for them, rather than running away from them, would go a long way in ensuring that the venture is a success.

The first question is that of PURPOSE. You will be asked to what purpose you are pursuing your dream. This question and its answer, or answers as the case may be, is of utmost importance. Why are you doing what you are doing? Why are you trying to achieve what you are trying to achieve? Why are you not doing something else with your time? Why have you chosen this time and this location to pursue this venture?

Many young folks don’t bother to consider the various “whys” of their pursuits and so falter and fail seemingly without reason. Myles Munroe famously stated that, “If the purpose of a thing is not known abuse is inevitable.” This is true in every venture of life. When you consider the “whys” you will get deep in thought and expand your idea beyond its possible shallow stand.

In addition, the answers to the questions you ask will unlock many angles of what you really need to do. For example, if a student asks himself why he is in school, he may come up with the answer, “To get a good paying job.” Further questioning of why he may want a good paying job may get the answer, “To help my parents with finances.” At this point he is discerning a purpose for his studies. From this point he may switch questioning to. “How then can I get good grades?”

The question of purpose should not make you give up. It should not make you abandon ship. Though unnerving, it should make you succeed in your venture. Every young folk should adopt the question of purpose in approaching every project.

Share It: the smaller the better

It is easy to tell the toiler how best he can carry his pack. But no one can rate a burden’s weight until it has been on his back. ­– Ella Wheeler Wilcox

So you have a vision and you have all the desire you may need to fulfill it. Your heart is burning with the passion that the work entails and you are sure that you will bring it to pass. The moment you take the first step you suddenly realize that your dream is bigger, much bigger than you thought. Painfully, though it is difficult for you to admit, you dream is bigger than you. For the first time, since the initial thought flashed through your mind, failure seems real and you now contemplate abandoning ship.

This trend is very real in the lives of most achievers. At one time or the other they have considered themselves incapable of achieving the very things they ended up achieving. If it is then reality that success driven people encounter such obstacle how then do you overcome it?

It begins with the way you consider your dream. Most big dreams are bigger than the person that dreams them – that is why they are called big in the first place. What you need to do is to make it smaller. Every dream can be broken down into smaller parts that will be easier to achieve at the time being. Once you have been able to break your big dream into achievable bits, pick them one at a time and accomplish. This way, it becomes easier to achieve and fun too.

Another simple way is to share your burden with like minds. When you carry the load alone it eventually becomes too heavy but when you look for like minds to share it with, they will encourage you when you are weary and tired. Accept the proverb that notes, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another,” and share your dream-burden with people that can energize it and help bring it to life. You need people that will not let you sleep on it, folks that will own your dream as though it were theirs.

To insist that your dream must come to pass as a whole part and without the help of other people is to assign the seal of death to it.

YOU: the Genius...

Give and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over… - Jesus (The Christ).

Have you wondered what makes some people geniuses in their chosen fields? They seem to know what to do to wow everybody that watches. They do what they do with such ease and precision that many find it difficult to believe they act only with their human abilities. Such people are found in virtually every field – sports, politics, clergy, - of human endeavor.

It is easy to fall to the thought that they are simply more talented than their peers and so their excellence but the truth is far from that. In every field, talent is never all it takes. It is one thing to be talented while it is a completely different thing to harness your talent to genius status.

The difference lies in a simple thought – the genius gives himself or herself to the field while the “normal” folk do not. Because the genius gives himself totally to field, the field gives back to him, hence the birth of genius.

To give yourself to a field may mean a thousand and one things but I will highlight three. First, you give yourself to a field by practice, practice and practice. There is no genius that has not invested thousands of hours to practice.  Many would-have-been geniuses are too lazy to invest their time and energy to such high demand for practice and so end up falling short.

Second, understand that many have trodden the path you are on right now. Get them to help you. You need guidance, counsel, mentorship. King Solomon once advised that, “…victory is won through many advisers.” Never think you can go it all alone and that advisers will lead you to ruin. There is something about having done something in the past that helps you see the pitfalls way ahead of any other person on the same path. Seek for and enjoy mentorship on your path to genius.

In addition, you need to – for lack of a better phrase - give room for instincts. There are things that practice or classes or the best mentorship won’t give you. They lie deep within you and only you can unleash it when it beckons. I am talking about those thoughts that flash in and out urging you to get out of convention. Harken to them and act immediately.

Succeeding With People

I love mankind, it's people I can't understand. - Charles M. Schulz (Author)

We live in a world of associations. To succeed in life is to succeed with people because people are the most important resource on earth. Without other people our lives would be meaningless. That is why it is of the utmost importance that we get well along with people in our journey of success. It is possible to have relationships that are not filled with anger, envy, dissatisfaction and distrust. It is possible to relate with people effectively and productively.

To achieve this I strongly suggest you go for a win-win occurrence when dealing with others. Drop the competitive spirit and seek how to get the other person to win as you win also. A win-win situation only comes when you understand the person – his or her desires, goals, future ambitions – you are relating with. You then take advantage of this understanding to ensure that they win as you win.

Also, it is of great importance that you develop the habit of listening to understand. Many times folks talk without communicating because they set out to make their own point irrespective of what the other person has to say. This is evidenced by the fact that they interrupt their colleague with every sustained breath-break. If you would succeed with people you must be able to listen to understand. This means that you listen long enough and attentively enough until you completely understand the point of view of your colleague.

In addition the person that will succeed with people must make obvious the respect he or she has for the other person and his or her point of view. People have dignity and they respond positively to people that recognize it. Status in life does not remove human dignity. This means no matter how highly placed you are your security guard and that waiter in the restaurant and the transport conductor all has human dignity. Handle this dignity appropriately by showing respect for that everybody’s humanity.

If you would seek a win-win occurrence all the time and listen to understand others, and respect the human dignity of folks, the sky will be but a starting point for you. This is so because people are indeed the most important resource in the world. 

How To Stand Out of the Bunch

I will praise you (God) because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful and I know that very well. - David (king of Israel)

We all believe that we are special. We all think that there is something about us that sets us apart from the bunch. The fact that our DNA and finger prints are completely unique further deepens our conviction of this thought. This feeling is inherent because God put it there. You are indeed different! There is a lot that sets you out from the rest of us but if you are confused about what that is then it will be safe for me to say that you have not discovered much about yourself yet.
A couple of things leave people in this trap of uncertainty, among which is the fact that most of us simply conform. We adapt, look like, copy, and imitate the bunch. We act like chameleons - taking the color of our environment. Conformity is the best way to not stand out. It is you telling the world that, "There is nothing special about me, I am just another zebra in the pack of a thousand zebras." If you will stand out in life, stop conforming and start creating your life.
Another situation we play ourselves into is competition. A lot of folks take the competitive mindset away from the sports field into life field. When life becomes a competition for you, you will never really stand out of the crowd. Life is beyond making others look bad. Nobody needs to lose for you to win. In competitions there is always a loser. If you need to compete with someone then compete with you. Define your destination and set out to achieve it by outdoing yourself again and again.
Many other people simply shortchange themselves. They are gifted, talented, skilled and trained to do some things in outstanding ways but do not let themselves do them to the fullest. They can act but will not. They can sing but their voice will not heard. They can write but it is meant for them and them alone. This way they remain locked in a world of generalities and fall short of standing out of the crowd.
Liberate yourself from these three prisons and you would have set yourself up for unique success.

Taking a Step in the Right Direction

Lack of direction, not lack of time, is the problem. We all have twenty-four hours a day. - Zig Zigler 

It is popularly said that, "A Journey of a thousand miles begins with a step." I believe that that, though true, is incomplete. I would rather agree that, "A Journey of a thousand miles begins with a step in the right direction."   You see, it does not matter how long you take a journey as long as you are travelling in the wrong direction you will end up in the wrong destination.
To ensure that you take steps only in the right direction, you must know where it is you are headed in the first place. You destination must be clearly defined. A traveller without a destination is lost even before he begins. Many overlook the importance of this and instead set out without a clearly defined destination. They soon find out how grossly insufficient that stand is.
Consider all it takes to make it successfully to the end. The right direction can become the wrong one if the traveller is met by insurmountable obstacles. This happens when you do not anticipate the things you will face and if you have what it takes to overcome them. Jesus (the Christ) advised: "Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won't you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?"
Also, you should make reference to the milestones. The milestones along the way tell you the distance you are yet to cover. They also tell you if the town ahead is the town you want to be headed toward. The milestones of your success journey are the small and medium term goals you set. No matter what you do, set goals.
If after some time and distance covered you discover that you have been travelling in the wrong direction what do you do? This can be very disheartening as you consider the distance already covered, the time wasted and the energy exerted. Do not be ashamed. Retrace your steps backwards. Get yourself back to a point that you can refer to. Trace your way back to where you know you can get back on the right track. Only a foolish person will recognize he is on the wrong track and continue therein.

Knowing Where You Are Headed

We are all in journeys. It does not matter if you know it or not, or whether you accept it or not. What matters is that you are headed somewhere. The question then is, "Where are you headed?" 

Not many folks, though I reckon it simple, can answer that question. I say it is simple to answer because all you really need to check is your actions. The decisions you make and the things you do are a precise prophecy of where you are headed. The student that invests his or her most productive hours gaming rather than studying is prophesying failure already.

Nonetheless, it is not ideal to identify your destination only from your actions. I advice that you define your destination even before you turn-on the ignition. 

In normal circumstances, before anyone sets out on any journey they have an idea of where they are headed. As it is with journeys so should it be with our success. What exactly are you trying to achieve? Where exactly do you want to get to? Would you recognise it when you arrive there? Clearly define what your dream is. Many have vague dreams. You do not get anywhere with vagueness and ambiguity. You must be able to state categorically what you desire to achieve.

Set dream-fulfilling goals. Set goals that take you steps closer to living your dreams. Ensure that every goal you set and pursue is important to the final destination.

Take a step daily. Make sure you do something daily that takes you closer to your dream. It does not matter the size of what you do. What matters is that you do it. Because of my dream to be a best selling author, I post an article I my blog daily. It is very difficult for me and seems small compared to my dream but it is a step toward it.

No matter the storms and difficulties that come your way, never, never, never give up!

Setting Up Your Team: (How to Make YOU a Team Player)

The strength of the team is each individual member. the strength of each member is the team. - Phil Jackson (Author)

It is sometimes easy to get into thinking the success and failure of a team is all-dependent on the team members other than you. In essence what that means is that you may think that you have attained to the state that the team needs but others need to grow. This is never true. You are a team player too and must play according to the set rules of the team. here is how you can be the right team player. 

Admit your need for help: I generally assume, correctly or otherwise, that the fact that I often look small as compared to my vision is my mind telling me that I need help. Not many people like to admit their inadequacies, interpreting it as weakness. Nothing can be further from the truth. There is strength in vulnerability and the radiance of this strength is often exposed when you let it be influenced by other people in a team.

Make “you” desirable: in team play, the people involved work with each other and not for each other. People do not want to work with an undesirable team head and team players. Make yourself someone people want to be around. Cut anything that limits your ability to get people around you involved with you. Search for things about you that make people draw close to you. Focus all your energy on bringing out these traits.

Look out for like-minds: the whole idea of teamwork is bringing your visions to fruition with the help of others. You need people that can think in line with your visions. There are people I do not dare tell a word about what my visions are all about. There are people on the other hand that I literally search for so I can share my next project with them. The difference between these two classes of people is the fact that one party kills the dream and the other party builds it.

Seek fun-people: do not work with people who show signs of disinterest in your vision or who will not derive pleasure in the process of accomplishing the vision. Everybody you are to form a team with should enjoy the process from start to finish. Success comes faster if everybody derives pleasure from the work. Failure or the inability to reach your goal also is easier to take and more easily seen as temporary if such people are on board with you. 

Setting Up Your Team: (Performance Goals)

I will now write on the unifying factor of performance goals. Goals are the life of team play because they are the aim, the “something” that teams want to achieve in a specified period.

          The unifying factor of performance goals: A performance goal is a goal that specifies the performance required of a team. If this is lacking, progress cannot be measured and if progress is not measured, there is no way the team can say if it is successful or not. So every team needs to set goals to help move it forward. Here are some ways to set performance goals-

       
  Write it down in clear terms. Any performance goal that is not written down is no goal at all. Make sure your performance goal is written in specific, clear, unambiguous terms so every team player can understand and agree without much effort. Many times folks think they understand a thing only to see it in written form and discover the contrary is the case.

-                         Set a time target. All performance goals must have a time tag. Any goal without a time tag is a mere wish. “The vision will …happen at the appointed time. It hurries toward its goal. It won't be a lie. …wait for it. It will certainly happen.” A time tag pushes team players. With a time tag, each player knows that he or she does not have all day.

-                    Plan. Plan what the process will be for your team to reach its target. A plan is a sequential list of activities outlined with high-priority actions coming first. A plan is actually the map you and your team will follow to reach your destination. What decisions and actions should come before others? Outline them all in your plan and follow them.

-                         Review often. A team’s performance goals should be reviewed as often as possible. This makes room for changes that may arise in the course of time. This means the team players have to be versatile enough to accommodate these changes. It is worthy to note that every review should be approved by each team player before it is adopted. You do not want a situation where some team players are ready to move while some others stand back and watch.

Setting Up Your Team: (Common Purpose and Mutual Accountability)

A body of men holding themselves accountable to nobody ought not to be trusted by anybody. - Thomas Paine (Author)

If you have followed the articles on teamwork then you should have started considering how best to put your team in place. Today I shall discuss two other unifying factors. Without these unifying factors every team eventually goes to disarray.

The unifying factor of common purpose: Every team must have a single reason why it is doing what it is doing. Every member of the team must share that ideal. This is the purpose of the team. Myles Monroe in his famous quote said, “If the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable.” This applies to teams when team players do know the purpose of the team.

When a common purpose is recognized and understood, a team’s effectiveness sky rockets. It is a sorry thing to see a team with differing purposes. Any sports team with such would easily fall to a team with a better sense of it’s purpose. This applies to businesses, families, classes and the like.

A common purpose is built, first, by clearly communicating it. Indeed a team leader should be able to articulate the intent behind his or her team but beyond one-way articulation, team players should be able to understand and produce performance that clearly shows their understanding. Only when this happens can we say communication has occurred.

Also, team players should be willing to submit every action to the purpose of the team. Contradictory actions that obviously create a division in the team should not be entertained.

The unifying factor of mutual accountability: who is responsible? Whose fault is it? Who is to give account? These are questions all groups have to answer at one point or the other and therein lie where many groups fall short of being teams. Note this; in a team, nobody is accountable, everybody is. It is nobody’s fault; everybody is at fault. Nobody is responsible, it is everyone’s responsibility. The moment this is missed, the cords that bind team play are broken. The whole point behind team-play is mutual accountability. This is when every team player feels as much responsible for the team and its progress as everyone else. You don’t get this in hierarchy where responsibility clearly lies on the people at the helm of command. Every player in team-play learns responsibility. When one falls, all fall. When one is up, all are up, none is left behind. Accountability is demanded from every player at all times. 

Setting Up Your Team (Unifying Factor of Complementary Skills)

A body isn't really a body, unless there is more than one part. It takes many parts to make a single body. - Paul (the apostle)

Having laid the foundation for the need to work with a team in your success journey, I shall go a little further to discuss what I call unifying factors that should bring team members together. These are the factors that bind a group. It is worthy to note that not every gathering is a team. Most organizations are simply groups and nothing near teams. Teams only exist when these unifying factors are in place.

The unifying factor of complementary skills: members of a team have to complement each other in skill. If you have everybody in a group having just one skill, know that you have no team at all. There is practically no way such a group can effectively provide excellent service at all times. Team players should take up roles that they feel they can best fit into. If everyone in a group fits into only one type of mold, play becomes boring. Paul (the apostle) once stated: “Our bodies don't have just one part. They have many parts. Suppose a foot says, “I'm not a hand, and so I'm not part of the body.” Wouldn't the foot still belong to the body? Or suppose an ear says, “I’m not an eye, and so I’m not part of the body.” Wouldn't the ear still belong to the body? If our bodies were only an eye, we couldn't hear a thing. And if they were only an ear, we couldn't smell a thing. But God has put all parts of our body together in the way that he decided is best. A body isn't really a body, unless there is more than one part. It takes many parts to make a single body. That's why the eyes cannot say they don't need the hands. That's also why the head cannot say it doesn't need the feet… If one part of our body hurts, we hurt all over. If one part of our body is honored, the whole body will be happy”.

As it is with our bodies so it is with effective teams. Every player must have a unique skill to contribute to the progress of the team. Only in using complementary skills to your advantage can your team cover all ends. If an army is hedged in with enemies all around them, the best battle formation is a circle - Only the unifying factor of complementary skills can afford that.

Teamwork: The Assurance for Your Success

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: ...though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A strand of three cords is not easily broken. - Solomon (Third king of Israel)

I will be writing a series of articles on the need for teamwork in your success journey. This is important because ability, strength, capacity, and eventually success is multiplied geometrically when you work with a team as opposed to individuality.

Not many folks think they need help. I am sure you have heard the phrase, “self-made millionaire”, used to describe people that supposedly “made” themselves whatever they became.

Learn to work as a TEAM

Nothing can be further from the truth. None of us is completely self-made. I admit that there is a lot in your success journey that you and you alone can make happen but to say that everything you have become, you self actualized is to over state it.

Every one of us is summary of many other peoples contribution. Someone breastfed and catered for and educated you else you would not have even had a chance in life!

The fact that you need people does not make you a weakling. Interestingly it's an assurance for your strength. Every individual has personal limitations. There are things in your person that serve as limiting factors to your progress. They may have arisen from family and environmental background, societal influence, peer group associations or the media. Irrespective of the source, the main issue is that they exist and a denial of their existence does not eliminate their presence. The only way you can break personal barriers and limitations is by teamwork. You need someone who will walk and work with you, pat you on the back when things go well, encourage you when things don’t go as expected, rebuke you when you do wrong - If you are a person that cannot handle a rebuke but take offence at every instance of it, then your progress will be rather slow.

You need people with the ability of polishing your ideas and expanding them. King Solomon once noted that, “Just as iron sharpens iron, friends sharpen the minds of each other.” The greatest minds need sharpening. Irrespective of how revolutionary your ideas might seem to be, you need people who will do some polishing on them.

Growing Your Confidence

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. - Eleanor Roosevelt 

Confidence is the sense of self-reliance or boldness a person possesses.

Believe in your abilities: Knowing your abilities is not enough because if you lack the necessary believe in it, you cripple your ability to exploit it to its fullest capacity. This has nothing to do with the extent you have exploited it in the past. The fact that your last trial to exploit your gifts turned up little in return has nothing to do with further trials.

Step up to the challenge: Many people know their abilities, believe in those abilities but simply do not step up to the challenge to do something because of;

- Fear

- Pain from past experiences

- Family Upbringing

- Laziness:

Break away from popular opinions: people always have an opinion. There are some people who always think they know how you should run your life. They always think they know your abilities sometimes even more than you do. You hear it expressed in statements like, “I know what you can do”, “you are not that type of person”, “you can’t do that”, and many more. We are all guilty of such sins at one time or the other. I just recently learned not to say such things to people no matter how strongly true I think they are. Nobody really knows who you are and what you can do completely. The degree of knowledge they have of you is the exact degree you let them know.

Timing - Your Key to Success

He (God) has made everything beautiful in it's own time. - Solomon (the king)

          It is easy to feel insufficient and dissatisfied with our states at every phase. It is common among many young folks to consider where they are in their success chart and feel they are far from attainment.

         This is more so because we are not familiar with the path of our success journey. This way we will not be able to know how much of our peculiar success-journey we have covered.  

         In addition many of us easily compare ourselves with others. When we compare ourselves with people we place ourselves upon uneven scales and we never become all that we can be. Rather, we are left with a sense of inner insufficiency. Making matters worse is the fact that many young people compare themselves with people that are much more advanced in age and advancement than they. This will simply make you less than you should be.

          It is important we note that there are some platforms of success we may never experience irrespective of how we desire to because of one basic thing - Timing. Some things will not come to us simply because it isn't yet time for them to. It is God that grants us the things we desire and just the way no reasonable father will give his car keys to his ten year old, God does not grant desires to immature children.

Every father knows that keeping a child from the car keys isn't denial. In time, the child will grow mature enough to drive. All that matters is time. Joseph Onilede once noted that, “The difference between a ripe fruit and an unripe one is time.” Indeed with time all things fall in place.

         Wait for the right time. The things you desire are not impossible. It may just not be the right time to attain them has not yet come. When the time does come – and it will – the beauty that comes with attainment brightens it and makes it an envious thing in the eyes of many. Discover and wait for the right time to attain every aspect of your goal. 

Who Do You Think You Are?

As a man thinks so is he... - A Proverb of Solomon

Whenever the question, "Who do you think you are?" is asked it is often connected with a bid to bring down or look down on someone. I have not seen several instances where the question is answered directly. Rather, it is given a sharp response of “Who then do you too think you are?” Of a truth this question can easily be described as rude but then let us really analyze it.

Who do you think you are? Your answer, howbeit nonverbal, is very important to how and when you succeed. This is so because what you think of you will define your life. A person is what he or she thinks about most of the time.

So, who do you think you are?

The answer to that is in as many variants as there are people on earth. Some think they are ugly others think they are beautiful. Some think their lives are not worth living others think there can’t be a better time to live. Some think they are meant to live poor, sick and sorry lives others think they should be rich, healthy and hyper-excited.

It is interesting that people produce the very results they think often about. I sometimes point this out to my students by bringing out the top three in the class and ask them if they ever think they may drop below the first five positions in class and in all occasions the answer is the same – “never!” They remain tops because they, first of all, think they should be tops.

You must change your thoughts to fit where you claim you will attain. Without changing our thoughts we cannot change anything else. Santosh Kalwar (a poet) once said, “We are addicted to our thoughts, we cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking.” 

Enthousiasmos

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Great achievements in any area of life are reserved for enthusiastic people; people that are excited by the prospects of every action they take. People ready to roar like hungry lions at the sight of a prey- the challenges facing them.

High achievers understand that enthusiasm alone can give a person all he has planned for in any endeavor. You see it in the very being of enthusiastic people - their walk is with confidence, their eyes carry fire, indeed they are possessed and every part of their body joins in the excitement. Doors open for them. When the doors don’t, their enthusiasm pushes it open. People make way for them. They go about life thinking things will go well for them- and things usually do. Enthusiastic people in trying to achieve a goal try all options. They leave no option blank and with all options shaded, the answer must be gotten.

Do what you love: can you smile, whistle, sing, hum or dance all through the time you spend doing what you do? One major problem with poor achievers is that they make a habit of doing things they have no ounce of love for. I love to write so I do it every day!

Take a look around you: one of the things that characterize our environments is people like us. If you have a poorly developed personality, you will resent people that are either better than you or those that seem to be catching up really fast at you. On the other hand if you are on the path to success, the presence of these people will serve as a source of blessing. You will use them as a motivation to make yourself better. They will be for you a source of the necessary enthusiasm and not competition for progress. In the journey of life, there really is no competition. Everyone is on a separate path.

Learn to be expectant: what are your expectations? Be hopeful that things will go well for you. Expect that as you progress, you will find doors open. Being expectant begins with you opening your mind to the thoughts of success. Permit them to flood your mind like water from a river that has broken its banks after a heavy downpour. Let them have control over every area of your thinking, permeating through your very being until expression of enthusiasm is found on the outside. Once your thinking is aligned with expectation, you will begin to be expectant. It is that easy.

The Persuasive Achiever

Only the deepest love will persuade me into matrimony which is why i shall end up an old maid. - Pride and Prejudice

Our success journey is wreaked with people in every phase. this means that we will need to persuade people everyday in order to succeed. Persuasion is a skill that must be learned for you to practice effectively. 

Seek symbiosis: What does the second party stand to gain if he submits to your suggestions? People are naturally self-protective and will subconsciously become defensive the moment they sense any foul play. After all, there should be no foul play in anything you do… right? People will notice when you are trying to cheat them. Seek a symbiotic relationship instead. Let people know what they stand to gain and make sure they gain it. There are two steps to help you achieve this.

First, what is your internal perspective about the person you seek to persuade? Do you look at the person like an opponent standing against you rather or a partner working with you for a common goal? This does not in any way mean you have to like everything about the second party but you will have to break away from your dislikes over him and work with him if you want to persuade him. 

Second, you need to acknowledge ideas contrary to yours without rejecting them. Our first inclination when a person states a position we do not agree with is to say, “No”. This works against the partnership you are trying to develop by pushing your potential partner into the offensive in order to defend his ideas. Eventually you will end with an “I” versus “you” confrontation. These two words are the master killers of cooperation.

Consider “No” as a reaction: If while cooking you mistakenly get a slight burn, you will jerk your hand back and say “ouch.” Your reaction is caused by what is called autonomic response. This is a response generated by internal stimuli and describes a reaction that occurs without full control. Whenever we experience something that can cause us danger or harm we react that way. The word “programming” will be most appropriate to explain what I am saying if we were computers. That is how the word “no” is. Social exchanges that seem to have some form of fear or uncertainty attached to them get such reactions from us. When people say no they may not necessarily mean never especially when they are experiencing some form of fear or uncertainty over your suggestion. 

The Persistent Achiever

The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-ittiveness; third, common sense. - Thomas Edison

This is how you develop the persistence you need for any worthwhile venture:

Have a definite purpose: knowing what one wants is the first, and perhaps, the most important step toward the development of persistence. People are seldom persistent if they cannot say categorically in clear terms what it is they want.

Get set for difficulties: Settle it in your mind that things will not be an easy ride. Most times, you never know the difficulty of a task until you venture out to do it. “Is there anyone… who, planning to build a new house, doesn’t first sit down and figure the cost so you’ll know if you can complete it? If you only get the foundation laid and then run out of money, you're going to look pretty foolish. Everyone passing by will poke fun at you: ‘He started something he couldn't finish.’”

Learn from mentors: Irrespective of what it is, you are most likely not the first to do what you are preparing to do or are doing already. Many times we behave like loners on an expedition. Knowing that people have gone before us will help us to learn from the difficulties they faced, obstacles they overcame and mistakes they made. We can prevent all the wrong turns they took and also learn how they overcame the present difficulties we are facing.

Do something daily no matter how small: There may be some things you cannot do now. You may need more money, some expertise or some more education. Ignore those things without forgetting about them completely. You are ignoring them so that you can focus on the things you are able to do at the moment to make progress in your endeavor. Do something today, no matter how small.

Develop Diligence: only diligent people ever achieve anything meaningful. Diligent people always make progress in their fields. They excel and are always sought for anywhere they go. Solomon said, “Do you see a man diligent in his business? “He shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before unknown men”. This is a major difference between the genuinely rich and the poor in every society. “Laziness, leads to poverty; hard work makes you rich.”

Tell yourself “I can do it”: you are the right person for the challenges you face. Not your neighbor, friend or brother – but you! All you need to do is search inside you. You are deeper than you think. You have more inside you than you are seeing right now. You “can do all things through Christ which strengthens.” Belief in one's ability to carry out a plan encourages one to follow the plan through with persistence. Get inside you and draw out the resilience, the ideas, the creativity, and the energy you need to stand.

The Versatile Achiever

Life can be bizarre, classic, normal, romantic. Life is to me the most versatile thing.

We live in a versatile world. daily the same you is expected to be many different things. Sometimes this can be very confusing as we can easily mess up our roles and responsibilities. This need not be so as we can be as versatile as our responsibilities require by simply adhering to the following:

Know your roles and responsibilities: Many people do not know who they are and what they are supposed to do as a result of being that person. Many of us are like actors staged by a director only for him to discover we don’t know what role we are staged to play.

In a football field, there are eleven positions and eleven responsibilities. Each player takes on a position based on the responsibility he has on the field to ensure the victory of his team. A twelfth player is not needed on the pitch because there are only eleven responsibilities. The role determines the responsibility.

Act like wet clay: Clay can be hard when dry. Buildings constructed with clay bricks can stop the penetration of a bullet. Dry clay is durable - don’t be like it! The case is different with wet clay. When wet, clay becomes plastic and can take whatever form the potter decides to mold it into. That is how we should be with the several roles we have and the responsibilities we must live up to. Sometimes we pick up the responsibility of one of our roles and try to play it in all the roles we are involved in. Such will act like bosses to their children and fathers to their wives. Get this straight; you are not a clay brick! You are a dynamic creature equipped with the ability to be all you are expected to be at any point of your life.

Focus on which role you are acting:  Once you identify which role you need to play at a particular time, try all you can to focus all your energies on the responsibilities of that role. Focus on each role’s responsibilities and play it properly at each moment. This requires sensitivity from you. Once you identify the role and its responsibilities, focus on them until another switch is required.

Have fun: if we enjoy all the roles we are expected to be responsible for, we won’t make a mess of them. Each role will be something unique that we long to exercise our responsibilities in if only we add the ingredient of fun on each of them. You have to enjoy being a husband, enjoy being a boss, enjoy being an employee, enjoy being a father, or a mother, or a sister before you can perform satisfactorily in it. Nobody runs away from what he enjoys. 

Ambition and Success

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. - Salvador Dali

Do you want to build success one ambition at a time?

Determine exactly what you want: Because people do not know what exactly they want, they move from one thing to the other. Every person at one point or the other in life will have to answer this question; what do you want to become? Yours might not come that way but it will come in some other form. The important thing is not how the question comes to you but what your answer is.

Work with your strengths: make sure your ambition(s) align perfectly with your inherent strengths. This will first require knowledge of your strengths. Working out your ambitions based on this knowledge will equip you with the necessary tools required for the achievement of your goal. It will also make your goal fun to accomplish.

Break it down into smaller bits: one reason why we fail in life is because we are so troubled with the pursuit and immediate accomplishment of great ambitions. Every meal is easier to finish when eaten one bite at a time. Many things are impossible to accomplish with one swoop. Your ambition is one of those things. There is no need to fret though. Simply break it down into smaller, simpler bits. Every big thing is made up of smaller things. Armies invade lands not individually but in battalions. They will be an easy crush individually. Picture your ambition as a battalion set for you to conquer but put in mind that every battalion is made up of individuals. You may not be able to handle the battalion but I am sure individual soldiers will be easier for you to handle. The smaller you break down your ambition, the easier it is to crush.

Do not make it all about you: Any ambition that will require the downfall of another who is already doing very well is not a worthy one. Selfish ambitions will lead to envy, greed and wickedness. The wrong ambition or the wrong path taken to achieve a right ambition has made emotionless monsters out of men in time past. Albert Einstein said, “Nothing truly valuable arises from ambition or from a mere sense of duty; it stems rather from love and devotion towards men and towards objective things.”

Creativity NOW!

           Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions. - Albert Einstein 

 Generate curiosity: the first thing needed is curiosity. Curiosity stems from creativity. Curiosity and creativity are linked by a two-way arrow. The process for developing either can go in both directions. You can use your curiosity, which is actually easier to form, to develop creativity. This can most easily be done by asking probing questions. If used appropriately Questions open up things that ordinarily will remain closed. Some questioning tips are:

Tip no. 1: Ask yourself about changes. E.g. What would taste better if it were less sweet? How can I make it sweeter? Tip no. 2: Ask yourself questions with lots of answers. E.g. What are some of the uses of air?

             Think deep: Creativity never occurs in the shallow regions of the mind but rather in its deep recesses. Treasure is never found floating on the surface of ocean waters but rather deep down at the bottom of it where only the resilient get to.

              Form a picture of what you want: You must see it in your mind’s eye. Anything can be seen in the mind. Very few people know that. You see, you have two pairs of eyes. The first is the outward eye, which is visible to everyone. Your outward eye sees only the things that are in the physical environment. The inner pair sees beyond. It sees what cannot be seen from the physical environment. Both pairs work together in feeding your mind with information. The outer eyes feed your mind with information that has defined boundaries. However, this is not so with the inner pair. The inner pair feeds your mind with boundless information. With your inner eyes, sight has no boundaries unless the ones you map out for it. You can create the picture of anything you desire to see or have physically.

               Do not let your environment restrict you: have a mindset that what you see is never what you get. Anything can become anything. A boulder can be a statue, a black stone can be coal, a tree can be paper, that problem you are looking at can be a business. Do not despise all seemingly worthless things. They are the parents of all worthwhile things.