The Persuasive Achiever

Only the deepest love will persuade me into matrimony which is why i shall end up an old maid. - Pride and Prejudice

Our success journey is wreaked with people in every phase. this means that we will need to persuade people everyday in order to succeed. Persuasion is a skill that must be learned for you to practice effectively. 

Seek symbiosis: What does the second party stand to gain if he submits to your suggestions? People are naturally self-protective and will subconsciously become defensive the moment they sense any foul play. After all, there should be no foul play in anything you do… right? People will notice when you are trying to cheat them. Seek a symbiotic relationship instead. Let people know what they stand to gain and make sure they gain it. There are two steps to help you achieve this.

First, what is your internal perspective about the person you seek to persuade? Do you look at the person like an opponent standing against you rather or a partner working with you for a common goal? This does not in any way mean you have to like everything about the second party but you will have to break away from your dislikes over him and work with him if you want to persuade him. 

Second, you need to acknowledge ideas contrary to yours without rejecting them. Our first inclination when a person states a position we do not agree with is to say, “No”. This works against the partnership you are trying to develop by pushing your potential partner into the offensive in order to defend his ideas. Eventually you will end with an “I” versus “you” confrontation. These two words are the master killers of cooperation.

Consider “No” as a reaction: If while cooking you mistakenly get a slight burn, you will jerk your hand back and say “ouch.” Your reaction is caused by what is called autonomic response. This is a response generated by internal stimuli and describes a reaction that occurs without full control. Whenever we experience something that can cause us danger or harm we react that way. The word “programming” will be most appropriate to explain what I am saying if we were computers. That is how the word “no” is. Social exchanges that seem to have some form of fear or uncertainty attached to them get such reactions from us. When people say no they may not necessarily mean never especially when they are experiencing some form of fear or uncertainty over your suggestion.